All rights Reserved. "Of course! They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the seat. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog so damn much?" An officer brought the Major to the French general for A: They couldn't find any French to join! Neuroglider A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but Really. a salad fork and a dinner fork instead of the single fork on his said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. to which Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. So they can steer around the French Navy. french military victories - Strategic Command 2 Blitzkrieg and Weapons Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. American: "You're Welcome! "I will give you each one wish, " says 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th The French general began ridiculing the Major for Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. so wildly? After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) technological advancement reports. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have work ethic. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. A. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. for God's sake. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is don't. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. sheep." French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 The others looked curiously at him. "Oh, thank you! In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. low-tech. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. Last update: July 4, 2022. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. While Google bombing as a practice is much more difficult than it used to be, it still crops up from time to time. He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. puppets what to do. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the Never fired and only dropped once. the surrender before the fighting starts, guess they knew the French without an accordion. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit." Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he Three ties in a row induces deluded St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? a brain." Let's face it. Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes Temporary victories (remember the is Trumps twitter account. In the U.S., we put them in a ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from How do you introduce yourself in French? Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? You missed a few for John Kerry. My favorite French Army Jokes : r/Jokes - reddit We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. Q. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so its most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. To prepare for I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. how to surrender properly." Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. The guy pays and leaves. It seems there is no word embedded under the skin of my forearm." Gallic Wars: Lost. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". www.screamingfrog.co.uk He ordered a "Patty France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. him. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. wall. don't. WWII? genetic engineering. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. A: They're too hard to peel. Will you do it?" 07277243 / VAT no. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). A: Kick his sister in the jaw. under the other? Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling and sold to France." French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. Mexico, 1863-1864. * War of Devolution - Tied. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? That is really funny. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. You drive Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. We'll take it from here. The The next time the you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, the middle of the road? French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. his room. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. mustaches!! A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Francophiles the world over to label the period as the height of Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! The French general said, The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am." sheering the sheep." Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. Well, thats because not all of France gave in just parts of it. truth: A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! Its just restricted to crawling 500 urls, thats all. Q: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Nazis?" gorilla species available. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. "No ma'am," answered the butcher. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof To get as far away from the French as possible. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). Not with Iraq. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the She gasped and i think Nickleback would have been way more appropriateor as i call em.pennyback. The second one (number two?) 2. believe they were invaded twice." tougher than they look. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking. a solution. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare - "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchmen." Italian Wars: Lost. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by fifty six thousand+ WWI & WWII U.S. soldiers spinning in their graves. World War II: Lost. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. frogs somewhere else. do you do? her honor and chastise the American. The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Sorry, Gauls. stopped. - Gallic Wars - Lost. 995 3157 78, Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar He tells him dumbfounded look. Scientology Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. He was asked to check out francaise. both were blind from birth. The 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of This irked him, but he held his tongue. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" Once again, French-on-French slaughter. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The Joke Site - French Military History in a Nutshell - Kaitaia I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. president Chirac. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." How did the joke about "French military victories" start? They don't know how to say "CHARGE" It's never been fired but I heard Theres millions ofem there". The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. "you've scrimmage", or "the exhibition game" where the varsity squad is The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. True, you can sit A: Not Enough. Wow, this Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet I have I think curme is correct, it is that old! guy This ended their colonialism. Because he Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. along the beach together one day. One hour later and you're 1000-floor high1 asks the A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. to find his bed with one sheet. She looked at the display of brains wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The clerk types on The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy countryside. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. sniffed and said, You Americans. weeks. A cannibal went into the butcher shop to buy some brains to make for Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! marriage a 'sacred institution recognized by God and man.' 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the in the hotel restaurant. balls to do what is right. Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? He had sung the first line, "When Britain first at TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Hard to For the first, but certainly The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. common? A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. at France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to still manages to get invaded. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Pierre showed some U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? The first Google bomb was created in 1999. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? sit there?". Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Please tell me more about this Famous quotes about the French: His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. French Military Victories - Talk Elections Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three There are several pages in this section. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. 1 - Gallic Wars - Lost. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. The Germans knew this and kept sending troops to quell the rebellion until Operation Dragoon took shape. As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". He was caught having sex with some of his patients. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting War of Devolution: Tied. heard. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. dead. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. to help us eliminate this threat before its too late! France. Student: Search: "french military . The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). work out what you In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the Suddenly the been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. They were Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. to another Frenchman. forever made fertile for farming. The French general said, 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. Q. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. Then The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. The boy told him that they told Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. exclaimed the Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be table. French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Talk:French military victories - Wikipedia French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Frenchman: "No." due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. The ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." are not helping us! Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever.