Any miniute now. I get home from work at 5:30p.m. You don't know either? As you may or may not know, small children swarm the ice cream trucks. For the benefit of you, the readerwho may or may not exist. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. THE REST OF THE STUFF I TYPE WILL BE COMPLETLY IN CAPS JUST BECAUSE I CAN. Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel. You know you want to! I fervently hope that you're not thinking the last twoespecially about Kodak. I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. And then go door to door distributing it. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! > You have blue hari..*gigles* I like hair. Then, in an inspired move, my brother talked my mother into letting him sit up front. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. Right now, while you are sitting in your "chair" and eating your "junk food", millions of almonds are commiting suicide. Whole families would gather around their front door, in breathless anticipation while they attempted to barracade me out. By Ben Lee. . In anycase, this was particularly funny because Tonileigh is one of my "normaler" friends. Oh, and all those weird squiggly lines and symbols, those are supposed to be apostrophes, but neopet's code is weird, and I'm not gonna bother to edit it. OkayI'm back. I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. theni got to go stand while people said a lot of stuff. There are not going to be conspiraciesor humor of any kind. Later, The Oracle tells him that he has already decided her fate. I have a guest rant/fake commercial written by "Meg" (who is once again banned from accessing the almighty Internet). We'd probably go crazier. Air pressure. I dunnoI guess I'm just kinda freaked out. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! Since I have a rather weird phobia of touching my own skinthis made my evening my own personall torture session. NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. She also is the goddess of red jello. I'll probably have another one soon, but that whole water thing has been buggin me for awhile. I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? Yes. You don't belong here. I'm back. Cheese is watching. The vendors get oodles of cash, and the kids get ice cream. What an eccentric idea! Okay. Wellbetter goI need to plan this out moreI'm back. Isn't that sort of ironic? My character is actually dodging the stupid rocks better now then when I controlled him. She's evil. *gigles* It milght have been a sugar rush 'cause now we're having a sugar crash. As long as the bear blends in, you know? And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. Once upon a time there lived a chief who liked to listen to stories. aSk anybody. This is one of the weirdest sites: or your money back! HA! Today was Halloween. Did I mention that, yet. Which means that it doesn't matter if you understand anything I say. Now I want all you loyal fans*cricket chirps* to go to the link to see what I'm like. they were special wings. (Actually I just question them untill they spontaneously combust, I ask lots of questions) So, in conclusion, ladies and gentleman of the jury(that's you) I could not have possibly tortured "Mr. Owl" to death. Hello, everyone! Moving on, I have nothing else to say, but don't feel like quitting just yet. He always enjoyed it because it meant that somewhere, he was the Supreme Dictator of the Galaxy. For all you, the uninformed consumer, could know, it might have rat poison in it. -2k of the longest characters. My family also strongly suspects that she stole $20 from the donation thingy. Fighting in the American Civil War? How could I forget the stupid Tootsie Roll Pop Commercials? I thought of another very good reason to assist with the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony! Longest English sentence - Wikipedia Because I have nothing else to do right now. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. He then leaves them under his owners car. Or, would that be good? Strange, huh? Either way, I'm here. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! I'm back. Here goes. I'm back. Maybe I'd seen it before, and that's where I got the idea. I think I'll get my little sister to be the test piolet. Sentences can be made arbitrarily long in various ways. Although I tell you she can't possibly be normal, since she hangs out with me. You can't blame me. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? That will be a wonderous day. Ain't it nifty? Maybe I should make the link come here directlyHey! Would they dry into raisins? Seeyahmmm..I wonder if there's subliminal stuff in my computerI'm back. None ever comes here, I could do this all day long and I still wouldn't have any more hits. Immediatly, my mother started complaining. Then I wait for my mom and dad to stop playing Collapse II so that I can get on. Our mind's cannot conceive of the vastness of infinity. When she came back, 'lo and behold, she had a tan. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. Thank you for sending me this email. Guess what? The 2.4 million words sentence is published in four volumes of Nigel Tomm's novel 'The Blah Story' (i.e., volumes 16, 17, 18 and 19). I even impress myself. Especially the part about the biscuits and cheese. become not entertained, the Patron Saint of Paper Clips will be forced to take drastic measures. What I liked best was the philosophy on choices. Right? I swear. Another reason why this isn't as long as Galaxy's is that I refuse to write every day as it would--this is the funny part--LOWER THE QUALITY OF MY OVERALL WORK! Fire is good. They're disgusting, bland and definitly not made of cheez, whatever that is. Hits all right. *sniffle* I feel so sorry for you! (the mindless fight scenes were really cool, too). I have heard some feedback suggesting that I make someway for people to remember where they stopped reading. "Purified" water. My sister. Time for another quote from the FLAMING CHICKEN HANDBOOK!!! Oh, well. It's not like I have anything better to do. Anyway, like the "diet supplement" people, the earring manufacturers KNOW that once they pierce you, you'll be hooked for life. Okay. The sentence below was found in a legal contract, and was until recently the longest sentence we had seen in an official document. She immediatly replied "Clara Barton". Did you really think I'd give you guys my ADDRESS? The author's vision was unique in that only he put biscuits and death in the same sentence. But, act now, or it will be too late, and you will be one of the losers that we'll be laughing at, assuming we have air to laugh with. )so you can travel to the 5th Dimension like our scientists almost did. The whole thing. Don't worry, I'll go to bed soon. I'm just basically typing nothing. The number of licks, I mean. If you judged everything by what it doesn't acomplish, then the entire world is populated by pointless beings. But my idiotic body has an automatic alarm clock, or something. Teens Against Cartoon Owls. If you have a decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol divided by anything, (even infinity). the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Sometimes I just do this, you know? Even though air is light, that much air adds up. Anyway, sorry for the lack of relative weirdness, conspiracy theories and doughnuts (my Moose ate them all). But it's all good. Remember: if the show sucks, it's their fault, not ours! I love owls. If you can sleep through a raging fire, close enough to set off the smoke detector, then you are definitly going to sleep through the smoke detector. Or would it be cheating if I didn't have multiple personalities? The Official FLaming-Chickens Handbook already confirms that fact! Eventually, this would become a monthly tradition. Apparently the point of the game was to get your character to shout "Whoo-Hoo!" 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! Me and Josh ate lots and lots of sugar, and it's late at nite and everything is funny but we can't laugh 'cause everybody is sleepin' so it's even funnier but ever since we drank the water we sobered up even though we weren't drunk but we ate sugarlots and lots of sugar. Insane, chaotichmmmmmI wonder who thought of it? Yesthat's rightsuicide. Well, you can't possibly have more time than I do. I recently learned in my EVIL Physics class that on average, humans lose one inch of height during the day due to gravity pushing on their spine. NowI bet you're wondering why I don't just wake up a few minutes before I have to go. (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? Halfway though I used my four remaining brain-cells to decide that the game was dumb. I thought it was. Why can't I? Is this writer's block?! E-mail. i felt sorry for my dad. Wouldn't pure water TASTE pure, and impure water TASTE impure? And today's rant is a sort of philosophical one. After all, you're a responsible, intelligent person who apparently has a lot of time on your hands. Ugh. Robinson was sentenced in 1997 for the kidnapping and rape of a 12-year-old girl. I SEE YOUR GAME! All because YOU tried to convince me that I was crazy. I want an elective. There is a world where you are a faerie. How do you stop them? It doesn't. Someday, I'm gonna snap and just delete this entire thing. Or maybe it's notI meanwon't the quality *snicker* of my work deteriorate if I am no longer writing for the target audience of me? William Faulkner was featured in 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for this 1,288-word sentence from Absalom, Absalom! She agrees, but only after seeing how important it is to him. Sonaturally I put her arch-enemy in my pocket and brought it home with me. Although, as I said, there's no way to prove me wrong OR right. We need to act now! I just keep going, and going and going. I know, unlikely, huh? Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. The boat sailed on . Humor the crazy person, okay? Seeya. Far away. Who'da thought it? You're shocked at my selfish, bad, memory. It can be very confusing, especially if you weren't paying attention in the first place. It's bad enough to go to school, leave school, go to work, leave work, do homework and then wait for my dad to get off of the computer so that I can do stuff. It makes sense, though. If you expect nothing and get something, you're happy. Longest Sentence. Let's see: 12345! So if you're not most people, you've made it down this far without skipping, skimming or getting the spark notes version. Think about it. This is actually my third attempt at doing this. See? Naturally when it was announced that we'd be eating dinner in this place, I could hardly contain my excitment(I glared at my mother and asked why we couldn't go to Pizza Hut) When we arrived, we were promptly served (after thirty minutes) In the meantime, we played a family game of pool(my parents played while my brother and sister and I watched) After two rousing rounds, our food came. "lower the quality"? That's the point you're trying to get across? It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! *scrunches eyes and makes funny sounds* Nope. I am here to bring AWARNESS to your moosey soul! Here are 65 examples of long sentences ranging from the relatively brief 96 words to one of the longest sentences at 2,156 words. 65 Long Sentences in Literature - Bookfox I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. But the point is, if I were, say, freakily allergic to a random mineral, I could read the ingredients and not eat the salt. You seewhen it's hot, you want something cold to eat. Before she could start listing all of America's enemies, I gave her a hint. It was sad. And once again suprised. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. You remember my Moose's arch-enemy, don't you? Oh. We could all breath a sigh of relief as parents kept their children inside, away from the evil truck drivers and near the T.V. Even though it gains pleasure from squishing my spine. i hate dress shoes. Happy? When I start playing a game, I am on 0. I'm going, you're on you're own! Now I'm back. At least it fills up my word quota for the day. If you make a purchase, My Modern Met may earn an affiliate commission. AS soon as you're pierced, you have to buy "starter" earrings. I'm back. My favorite stuffJTHMI have my libraries copy of JTHMI shall quote Noodle Boy for you:) (Full copyright/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). They aint whupped us yit, air they? this Jones who after the demon rode away with the regiment when the granddaughter was only eight years old would tell people that he was lookin after Majors place and niggers even before they had time to ask him why he was not with the troops and perhaps in time came to believe the lie himself, who was among the first to greet the demon when he returned, to meet him at the gate and say, Well, Kernel, they kilt us but they aint whupped us yit, air they? who even worked, labored, sweat at the demons behest during that first furious period while the demon believed he could restore by sheer indomitable willing the Sutpens Hundred which he remembered and had lost, labored with no hope of pay or reward who must have seen long before the demon did (or would admit it) that the task was hopeless-blind Jones who apparently saw still in that furious lecherous wreck the old fine figure of the man who once galloped on the black thoroughbred about that domain two boundaries of which the eye could not see from any point. yeah. It was down for a whole day or so 'cause of all the traffic I got from my new quizes. To pour your heart and soul into a passage, and have everyone ignore it. Oooooo! People just don't realize that their almonds and mixed nuts may be having depression and other problems. longest possible text for discord : r/copypasta - reddit You KNOW I ran out of imaginary money last week when I bought that imaginary country. She tracks the feather smell all over the house, and goes crazy whenever I take it out of my pocket. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. Oh, by the way, I noticed that whenever I use spell-check, my stupid computer turns the word probley into to word problem. Now, a long time ago, people were sort of smarter. Free Longest Essays and Papers | 123 Help Me But how, may I ask, can you find the end of the FREAKIN' universe? If that happens, then no one will read this. Yeah. Although there are many lengthy monologues and multi-line descriptions in literature, the chapter from American author William Faulkners 1936 novel Absalom, Absalom! You feel very, very honored. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. I must really be desperate for something to do. Sure, some of this "fasion" stuff is cool and all, but all it shows is that you had the three and three-quarters brain cells required to copy someone else's "look". Isnt' that nice? This annoyed my mother further, untill she asked, no, demanded that my father turn the car around so that we could go home. It's a word. *holds up a piece of paper, which, from a distance, appears to have writing on it* Yes, undenyable proof! The huge run-on sentence consists of 1,288 words and countless clauses. Maybe I should put quotation marks around themnah, too much work. while others are thinking "Who's John F. No! I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great societyof flaming chickens. Just exactly like Father if Father had known as much about it the night before I went out there as he did the day after I came back thinking Mad impotent old man who realized at last that there must be some limit even to the capabilities of a demon for doing harm, who must have seen his situation as that of the show girl, the pony, who realizes that the principal tune she prances to comes not from horn and fiddle and drum but from a clock and calendar, must have seen himself as the old wornout cannon which realizes that it can deliver just one more fierce shot and crumble to dust in its own furious blast and recoil, who looked about upon the scene which was still within his scope and compass and saw son gone, vanished, more insuperable to him now than if the son were dead since now (if the son still lived) his name would be different and those to call him by it strangers and whatever dragons outcropping of Sutpen blood the son might sow on the body of whatever strange woman would therefore carry on the tradition, accomplish the hereditary evil and harm under another name and upon and among people who will never have heard the right one; daughter doomed to spinsterhood who had chosen spinsterhood already before there was anyone named Charles Bon since the aunt who came to succor her in bereavement and sorrow found neither but instead that calm absolutely impenetrable face between a homespun dress and sunbonnet seen before a closed door and again in a cloudy swirl of chickens while Jones was building the coffin and which she wore during the next year while the aunt lived there and the three women wove their own garments and raised their own food and cut the wood they cooked it with (excusing what help they had from Jones who lived with his granddaughter in the abandoned fishing camp with its collapsing roof and rotting porch against which the rusty scythe which Sutpen was to lend him, make him borrow to cut away the weeds from the door-and at last forced him to use though not to cut weeds, at least not vegetable weeds -would lean for two years) and wore still after the aunts indignation had swept her back to town to live on stolen garden truck and out o f anonymous baskets left on her front steps at night, the three of them, the two daughters negro and white and the aunt twelve miles away watching from her distance as the two daughters watched from theirs the old demon, the ancient varicose and despairing Faustus fling his final main now with the Creditors hand already on his shoulder, running his little country store now for his bread and meat, haggling tediously over nickels and dimes with rapacious and poverty-stricken whites and negroes, who at one time could have galloped for ten miles in any direction without crossing his own boundary, using out of his meagre stock the cheap ribbons and beads and the stale violently-colored candy with which even an old man can seduce a fifteen-year-old country girl, to ruin the granddaughter o f his partner, this Jones-this gangling malaria-ridden white man whom he had given permission fourteen years ago to squat in the abandoned fishing camp with the year-old grandchild-Jones, partner porter and clerk who at the demons command removed with his own hand (and maybe delivered too) from the showcase the candy beads and ribbons, measured the very cloth from which Judith (who had not been bereaved and did not mourn) helped the granddaughter to fashion a dress to walk past the lounging men in, the side-looking and the tongues, until her increasing belly taught her embarrassment-or perhaps fear;-Jones who before 61 had not even been allowed to approach the front of the house and who during the next four years got no nearer than the kitchen door and that only when he brought the game and fish and vegetables on which the seducer-to-bes wife and daughter (and Clytie too, the one remaining servant, negro, the one who would forbid him to pass the kitchen door with what he brought) depended on to keep life in them, but who now entered the house itself on the (quite frequent now) afternoons when the demon would suddenly curse the store empty of customers and lock the door and repair to the rear and in the same tone in which he used to address his orderly or even his house servants when he had them (and in which he doubtless ordered Jones to fetch from the showcase the ribbons and beads and candy) direct Jones to fetch the jug, the two of them (and Jones even sitting now who in the old days, the old dead Sunday afternoons of monotonous peace which they spent beneath the scuppernong arbor in the back yard, the demon lying in the hammock while Jones squatted against a post, rising from time to time to pour for the demon from the demijohn and the bucket of spring water which he had fetched from the spring more than a mile away then squatting again, chortling and chuckling and saying `Sho, Mister Tawm each time the demon paused)-the two of them drinking turn and turn about from the jug and the demon not lying down now nor even sitting but reaching after the third or second drink that old mans state of impotent and furious undefeat in which he would rise, swaying and plunging and shouting for his horse and pistols to ride single-handed into Washington and shoot Lincoln (a year or so too late here) and Sherman both, shouting, Kill them! I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. I suppose that is the bane of all authors. Okay, now I'm starting to scare myselfI'm gonna quit for today. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. Or whatever. Now think of 100 people typing randomly. Nor can I find it on any search engines. How did Faulkner pull it off? is a question many a fledgling writer has asked themselves while struggling through a period of apprenticeship like that novelist John Barth describes in his 1999 talk My Faulkner. Barthreorchestrated his literary heroes, he says, in search of my writerly selfdownloading my innumerable predecessors as only an insatiable green apprentice can. Surely a great many writers can relate when Barth says, it was Faulkner at his most involuted and incantatory who most enchanted me. For many a writer, the Faulknerian sentence is an irresistible labyrinth. This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! Introduction In the business world, communication by e-mail is indispensable. : I've had this nagging fear that I am part of some random but vast conspiracy (about what I'm not sure but it must be vast). Would it be cheating to fill it out again? (Note: I wrote virtually none of this, so I cannot be blamed, credited with any of this. Number Three: I could have studied and stuff. So here it is! And why do I even care? I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. No matter how unlikely something is, if the universe is infinite, it's happening an infinite number of times. I made a virtual pet for it. You see, I periodically read the longest text ever to check the constant downward spiral of my sanity. In you, I found love, a friend, a companion, a mother, a role model, a perfect human, in short, you're my total package. With our patented "spray". 'Longest' word has 189,819 letters, takes three hours to pronounce As we all know, the world is going to end in about 380,695 days! Right now. (Which I think does not exist) My point is, if you've bothered to read this, then, (like me) you probley have also read the ketchup bottle so many times that you have it down verbatim. *sigh* My dogs are just weird. The inanimate world, on the otherhand, expects nothing of you. Think about it. Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. I love the little tacos, I love them good! The current record holder for the longest english sentence is Jonathan Coe for his staggering 33-page, 13,955-word sentence in The Rotter's Club, 2001. Ooooothats a great idea! There is a world where you are a faerie. Oooo! It's really stressfull. And "Mr. Owl" replies "OneTwooThree! Why do I have to work year round? In any caseI guess that smoke detectors are a neccesary evilbutWHY DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID LIGHT? I repeat, there is nothing to worry about. I forgot it's name. The future is determined by the triangles, in a startling blue color which spin around in a zany manner. Anyway, only watch wal-mart if you WANT to be subliminaly entertained into purchasing a new set of TUPERWARE, even though your old set is PERFECTLY fine. *reader starts inching towards freedom* I better goI think that I may have a problem brewing. UnfortunantlyI must leavebefore the confusion spreads and I do something stupidlike revealing my one weakness before youTHAT'S IT! Just make sure you "spray" your food first. SEEYA! I can even see the Official Flaming Chicken Rocket. And on to:#4You make your friends look normal in comparison. HOLY WAX! AhhhI see your confusion! I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Or, at the very least, not label it as "pure". The Book-Length Sentence - Essay - The New York Times It's a sad, cold, cruel world out there and you had nothing to relieve the monotony of it. All I know is that I've been assuming one thing while the person in charge has been assuming a completly different thing. That dirty little rat. What cruel fate is this? MEOW!MEOW!MEOW! Not only that, but It also displays the longest sentence used in the text and the number of characters and words in the sentences. I hate Math. Finnaly, is it expected for said sibling's non-gender specific parent to encourage such behavior, citing "I was just like that as a child" as an excuse? afterwardsthey turned off the lights. The world of literature is full of examples of sprawling monologues and multi-line descriptions, but it was American writer William Faulkner who was featured in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records for his lengthy passage from his 1936 book, Absalom, Absalom! I probley should have capitalized something, or underlined but I'm feeling lazyhey, you try to keep your two and a half readers happy! I know it was her idea, 'cause my dad hates it, too. Today I will be mercifully brief. (Next Commercial) Get ready fo: Faux's new "reality" TV show, "How Low Can We Go?"