I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. Well, time for some fun questions: would you be telling him about it just to alleviate your own guilt? :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. Or does it mean something bigger in terms of my own relationship? response. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Then (my name) I NEED SEX! Pre-kiss, the straight guys none of whom have ever kissed another man before are asked where society hasanyrules for interaction between heterosexual men. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. I really need your help.I have been dating this boy for the past two months. | I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. Way to make someone who, already understands and feels terrible guilt for what they've done, feel chronically worse. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. I felt disorientated. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. male I wonder how that struggle with trust might affect bonding within a romantic relationship contex- oh, wait - could it, would it, on a train in the rain with a fox in a box, Sam-I-Am, possibly always communicate to your husband a sense that you don't fully enough trust *him*, in which case that must mean you're judging him by YOUR standards ergo he'd better hold back a bit just in case? As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. Okay. reader, missbunbury+, writes (25 October 2005): A I felt sick! I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. Hi Scope! I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. Don't have an account? Be the adult here. I took the ride. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) Or do I? My wife wants to leave because of this. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. If I receive a text from someone that is flirtatious in anyway, I test the person back and tell them that I do not want anymore flirtatious texts and if we are friends then they need to respect my relationship. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), but then I was cheated on for years by ExH and I would now put myself first. A certain someone might read it. So this was the whole tone in which I recounted it to hubby, ergo, he thought it was amusing (the event and my comeback), flattering to him *and* reassuring. As for what we believe about kissing being the gateway to sex (specifically foreplay, which itself is the main gate): if anyone believes it *isn't*, thenwellAll I could say to that is: Not just to you. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . Nah Don't say a word about it. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . Take action instead of ruminating in guilt. "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. In Jung's theory, the anima makes up the totality of the unconscious feminine psychological qualities that a man possesses and the animus the masculine ones possessed by a woman. I say tell him. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. I wish I told my wife, but she found out because in my browsing history I had searched should I tell my wife I kissed a girl when drunk. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. I am sure this girl knows he is married. We finally mended fences, but there still is a type of tension between us. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? He screamed and raged and then left to the lake and sent me a text saying he cannot trust someone who would make an unwise decision like that. Tell your husband. Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. Better safe than sorry. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. I felt a mixture of excitement and flattery and nerves. Stories about open relationships, swinging, polyamory and other alternative relationship structures. Yes, that's what I was going to advise - that you two continue any discussion on LG's own thread. "Soz". However, before you choose option 3, you need to talk to the person you kissed when you are sober again and make sure that the other person has strong feelings for you, too. I went out for drinks in town last night and got extremely drunk and kissed another man, it only lasted not even a few seconds but I feel so so so guilty and wish I could take it back. Yes it hurts.. Why would you want to do that? I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? Its more like an excuse for cheating. find me on and follow me on. My gf went to a house party and got really drunk, and apparently kissed a g My girlfriend got drunk and kissed another guy, 2 months later she got drunk and kissed a girl, HELP. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? Try to let it go and forgive yourself. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. It's just a "good weekend?" However, if you kissed someone whom you liked or had a crush on while you were drunk, my opinion is that you cheated. (That'll do me nicely! We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. The first step to a broken loyalty is a first kiss. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. Your Drinking Behaviour. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? Pointer much appreciated, though. I regret waiting so long to tell him.-2 months. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Do you want to end you marriage? If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. (Ta-daaaa!) That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! The way it happened-not so good! I totally regret my actions and cannot bear to tell my boyfriend. I see this as two issues. 4 days ago. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. Own your truth- You did not expect to hear the REAL TRUTH and the RIGHT ADVICE. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. Well, that's all fairly laudible but Dont tell me that you and ______ (the girl who was staying at our house for the weekend) are lesbians? I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Houston? Just my opinion. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. I like the soft smooth touch of a woman and her sexy smell while iam kissing her with passion, if there is a romantic connection it's even better. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. Perhaps this one is geared more toward the ladies, but I feel pretty confident in assuming that no matter the . Confesing to your husband was risky. Don't feel guilty. Period. So she left after a couple of replies. You do risk upset feelings as a consequence. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. Again - your choice. What if they were married? I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. Actually I really don't have any experience at all. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. But fine, then 'It's not what you do, it's the way that you do it': give him the truth *cleverly*. Remind her of your good points. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. 07/12/2015 22:05. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. Then I ordered taxis, woke up the other girl and we left. I kissed another man four years ago. Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. "but the fact I work with this person and have to continue to work with him. " I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. I have no idea who the girl is. Ashley Madison helped things along with extramarital affairs. You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: ;-)) Okay if it was me who did that even thou I dont drink Ill first ask him as if its someone else who did it, like a friend or a colleague and if he overracts then think again but if hes all cool about it then break ice. When my husband came home, he could tell right away that I had been drinking. With the other woman just across the room! Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). What isn't, is Despite their passion during the kiss. You went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" I rang the guy and said ' oh wow, so last night, that really happened, what the hell where we at? ' It was just a kiss. It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. :-). Hi SoulMate! I'm not telling him because I don't want to mess this up. I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. When he finally called me up, he said that he needed to stay away from me, much as he enjoyed teaching me music, he felt that the next time we met, things could get even worse and he didnt want to destroy my marriage. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? The problem is soulmate if I mentioned some of the things that happened in another in another thread. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? We were not drunk. Egon Ronay-level Petit Degustation, requires the corresponding amount of TIME in which to do so. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. I am a good person and have never done anything like this before. instead of: I then suddenyly realised what I was doing and burst into tears, telling him I could not do this to my boyfriend and then called a taxi and left. Helping ppl have the sex life they truly want thru writing & education. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Hello, TheBestAdvice: Im glad you thought my post was intelligent and that you could relate to it. i think OP is using 'kiss' to mean 'more than kiss', but whatever, it was 4 years ago in a rough patch.. everyone here is wrong. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. HIKARI, you can't take up an obsolete thread as your own, no matter any similarities, so if you want feedback and advice it's best to start a new one (and copy and paste that post into it as your opening post), okay? Except with other truth-seekers. After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. It's South of France for us this year, holiday-wise, and then in about a year-and-a-half's time we're off permanently to Espana (por favor). It ended up leading to a follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time. I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. I'm so confused. Biological ones. I love your stories, Foxie. And what Simone Bienne said on the love line. ;-p reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A Though somehow I think there might have been trouble in the marriage. I kissed another guy while drunk. ;-). Truth-seekers are never popular. The planet won't stop revolving around the Sun if you don't tell him. Seriously. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Anon Pink, 20 ways to speak Love & Admiration to our husbands. View related questions: Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. female I believe that its a good thing to fess up when kissing someone you care about when you drank too much could threaten your existing relationship. Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. So you went and MARRIED someone who was your best FRIEND, not your already Bam!, Pow!, "oh my god there is a god!" With or without the same seniority. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. I don't see any good coming from me confessing, only hurt and upset and doubt, and think my time would be better spent working on my relationship, and working through the issues that are putting so much pressure on us at the moment. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. 3. If you drink so much that you lose track of everything, then you already took the first step on a dangerous road. Alcohol was a factor, but all it did was bring to the surface the feelings that were already there. If you. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. He left and went to the lake. We started kissing again and he took my T shirt off and I briefly started kissing his body. LOL IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), Kissing someone other than your spouse is cheating. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. We use cookies on our site to remember your preferences, monitor site traffic and offer personalised ads. See what she has to say. I kissed another man four years ago. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting.